Funerals are fun. Getting stuck in a traffic jam on the way to a funeral is even better.

Why is it that you being a girlfriend to your moms Christmas dinner and suddenly a fight breaks out and you find yourself holding uncle Phil back from trying to hit her?

I have a kid two feet away from me practicing her flute. It's right next to my ear. she's "trying" to do a B flat. Right next to my ear

Whoa- whoa- whoa. The condo association upgraded to digital cable for tenants. I'm 2005-era excited right now

You've entered a thunderdome of day-drinkers when you see a bald man in a Cosby sweater and leather coat struggling to light a cigarette.

Been compiling a playlist on spotify called "I'm HAPPY goddamnit".

It has two songs.

I'm so all-in with terminal lately that I'm even debating using it for email. But my lord Mutt is a pain to set up.

"F is for Family" is stressful just to watch. And eerily similar to what it was like growing up in the 70s.

If @adam is in the game. I'm sure that mastodon will just pick up more traction.

And here we go. Gonna take the divorce-cat-with-a-thyroid-condition to the vet again. The money I dump into keeping this animal alive for the kids benefit makes me question my own purpose in life.

Trying to convince someone to take a break from twitter for a goddamn minute and get over here.

After a solid hour of digging, I believe I've finally found the AVI that perfectly expresses who I am.

There's a turkey in my neighborhood that keeps gobbling and attacking my car tire when I pull out to go to work. Stupid turkey, you can't kill a car that way! Lolz... Glen out.

@glencorbett Huh, that's surprising, because if it had been an /actual/ 80s hardcore punk show it would've been totally cool. That's one of the things that was so awesome about the rise of punk.


Since Mastodon is kinda new, I feel like I can finally spear-head new tags that are ignored elsewhere. Like:

One time, I was at chipotle and saw an exhausted looking cook in the back chopping chicken into cubes with a YOLO tattoo on his arm.

Why is it that every time I join some new social media thing- it's suddenly flooded with weird/nude anime. I'm starting to think I am cursed and this stuff just follows me everywhere I go.

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House Targaryen

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